It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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