This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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