There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
