At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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