I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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