I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize