If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Randomize
