gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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