ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
