I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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