I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
