first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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