he puts the penis in happiness.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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