im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
