Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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