yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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