Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
