she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
