How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
