We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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