My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
