The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
