So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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