): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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