I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
