I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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