Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
