I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
