I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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