Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Come see our sink grown plant.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
