My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
