How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
