My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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