speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize