with your own penis?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
