Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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