i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
