she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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