You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
