she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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