i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize