haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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