Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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