this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
