Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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