I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize