Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
