What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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