??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
