there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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