please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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