Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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