I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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