Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
