So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
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The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
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I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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