$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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