No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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