It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
