she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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