dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
