We should be called the Road Head Warriors
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
