I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
