I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
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I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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