So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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