then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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