Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
