I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
