Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
